Desire

Time... money... entertainment.

As sad as it is, I think those three things are very separate things. I want more of each, but they come at the expense of the other two usually. Bleh.

Anyhow - the three converge in one place. This place is where time seems to be filled with life, where making money is motivated and easy and entertainment comes naturally through everything you do. This place is new love. It's kind of a vacation spot. You can't really live there, but you can visit. It's hard to find and even harder to get into after you find it. People say you can't fall in love when you want to, you have to find it on accident. Personally I think that's a load. If you can't fall in love if you want to then nobody would, because everyone wants love. There is a certain amount of validity to the theory as it applies to desperation. You prolly aren't going to find reciprocated love if you are coming off to everyone as a desperate, needy, clingy leach... I'm getting off topic.

Love is a many splendid thing. Love does lift us up where we belong. However, we’re not boxes of cereal and ‘where we belong’ is not a physical location so much as it is a state of mind. I wonder… can I find that location inside of myself and be in love with myself without becoming arrogant and narcissistic?

There’s this person/people that I’ve gone on dates with lately. Things are fine with them. That means that we are now acquaintances and they act at least cordially toward me. I know which I would most like to love, and which I would most like to love me. The thing is this; when? When do I begin with the more romantic crap? Dating is fun because it doesn’t have to be serious. I’m not talking marriage at all, I’m just talking about like, giving her flowers or nice things like that. I know there’s nearly no way to know for sure whether or not a move like that would be welcome or not, and that’s the fun part. The part that isn’t fun is the wondering if it’s premature or not.

I’m probably just worrying too much about it. Is anyone else out there unsure about when to make a bold move past friendship?